no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize