My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize