Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
