I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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