I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize