wrigley field is MILF paradise
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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