Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
