I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
