Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize