I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
