babies were throwing up all over the place
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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