I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
