Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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