hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize