Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize