i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
