Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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