U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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