cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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