I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
