It's Friday. Sex?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
