Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize