I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
