I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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