What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
