Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
