I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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