It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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