i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
