All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
