Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So many bounce houses so little time
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
