Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
