I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
