Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
