no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The Olympian is in my bed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
