We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
