he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
