Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
