I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just pee around me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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