New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
