And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
