so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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