Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
