sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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