Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
