You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
