Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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