I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize