I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
