now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i now understand why vodka
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize