im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
