she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
