Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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