soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
