i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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