i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
did you just send me my own nude
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
