One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
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