I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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