So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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