i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
