it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
