I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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