You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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