I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We have so much sex to catch up on
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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