I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
