Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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