Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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