It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize