I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
