to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Enjoy the penises
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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