In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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