you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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