do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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