Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
