Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think people are normalizing furries
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
