they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
