he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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